I have heard many times people make the same statement, “respect is earned, not given.” So, I say let us think about this in a Godly manner. If it is true that respect is not given and only earned, then why do we offer a “mutual” respect toward others without fowl attitudes?
As a child we are not taught to lie, cheat, or steal, but with enough time we will do so on our own. Biblically we would say that sin is inherent and we are born of a sin nature, therefore, we do these things. Human nature can explain this only by saying whom we are influenced by, we will mock or become a mirror image. Is this totally true? One thing we are definitely born with is the sense of right or wrong. This sense is freely given to us. Why? Because there is no denying that God has made us in His image. (Genesis 1:26-27) Whether we know Him or not, does not matter. We have a part of Him built in from birth.
Throughout the Bible words of fear, respect, honor, and sometimes reverence are mentioned. (Romans 13:7) makes this clear. “Render therefore to all their due: taxes to whom taxes are due, customs to whom customs, fear to whom fear, honor to whom honor.” Therefore, we find it actually a command to give deference, not based on whether we think they deserve it, but simply because they are somebody who fits a certain description (like the elderly) or who is elected, appointed, or ordained.
This theme is so strong that God shows that insolence toward those who should be respected presages calamity (II Kings 2:23-25, Isaiah 3:5). From the beginning, signs that show disrespect rising reveal social trouble on its way.
Honor means “to give high regard, respect, and esteem to; to bring respect or credit to; an outward token, sign, or act that manifests high regard.” Respect means “to have deferential regard for, to treat with propriety and consideration; to regard as inviolable.”
I have already heard from those who I have asked this very question about respect. Most, not all, reply with the same thing. Respect is earned and some say, that is by instinct that we treat others the way that we do. Most, but not all, say that this instinct comes from parents, relatives, friends, and those who we are influenced by. I say that this cannot be entirely true. For those individuals who have had a terrible upbringing but are now serving the Lord, I cannot say this is instinct. Webster defines instinct in this manner; a largely inheritable and unalterable tendency of an organism to make a complex and specific response to environmental stimuli without involving reason b: behavior that is mediated by reactions below the conscious level. Can we as children of God say that this definition applies to us and in terms of respect towards others? Does not the Holy Spirit within us guide us to a conscious effort towards others?
Let us look for a moment at the following scripture. (Matthew 25:40) “And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.” There is much more to this than I have written. However, I want it to be understood that our Lord sees all and requires our hospitality.
The truth is that we will never sincerely respect, prize, value, or honor anyone until and unless we start with an attitude of meekness. (Matthew 5:5) “Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.” Honoring and respecting others will not happen when a superior or holier-than-thou attitude is present. Paul tells us to “esteem others better than” ourselves. (Philippians 2:3)
When we truly repent of what we are, and how we regularly fall short of God’s holiness, we cannot remain in a pompous mood. John the Baptist says of himself: “He [Christ] must increase, but I must decrease” (John 3:30). Paul considers himself “the least of the apostles, who am not worthy to be called an apostle” (I Corinthians 15:9). He also writes that he is “less than the least of all the saints” (Ephesians 3:8). When we dishonor others, we are surely thinking of others or ourselves wrongly. We are to love others as ourselves, honoring them.
Honoring from a pure motive is possible only when we have a proper perspective of who God is, what we are, and who others are in relation to God and us. It begins with deep honor and respect for God – and thus for all He says.
Peter, having already written that we should honor all people, knew some brethren would resist honoring people such as Nero, the Roman emperor. Nero was a maniac, hated by Romans. He tortured and killed hundreds of Christians in various cruel and demeaning ways. How do expect anyone to honor someone whose mother had been crucified and used a human candle for one of Nero’s parties?
Nero was king. A king is to be honored, for he represents the office given him by God (Romans 13:1). Whether the kings honorable or not, he is king, and God says we should honor him as such. If we are resisting the power they have, we are resisting God’s ordinance (Romans 13:2). Paul even calls the civil authorities “ministers” or servants of God (Romans 13:4).
This is tough. The commands from our God, however, remain the same: Forgive those who trespass against you.” (Matthew 6:14) “Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.” (Matthew 5:44)
When we obey God’s command to honor all people, we are following our Heavenly King and honoring Him. Then what happens? Jesus answers in John 12:26: “If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also. If anyone serves Me, him My Father will honor.”
So first, we must humble ourselves, then give honor, and respect even those who might appear unworthy of honor and respect. Thus, our God will bestow honor and glory on those who have obeyed Him and His commands. The more we give, the more we receive. The more honor we give, the more honor we shall receive.